Let’s start off by agreeing that we all have good points and weak points, and these are categorized differently depending on who is doing the judging. For example, being meticulous could be considered to be wonderful by one and a complete drag by another, right? Agreed? Great!
Next, let’s agree that we can be pretty harsh on ourselves, and we can be somewhat blind to some of our aspects, right? Agreed? Great!
And finally, some days we can feel pretty down about ourselves, right? Agreed? Great! Three for three! Yahoo!
Today, I would like to read a book about the 3 worse things about ourselves and realizing that it’s really just a matter of feeling down temporarily and that we all have tremendous gifts. So, it’s a pep-talk MiniBook.
Overshare: I feel I’d love a book like this today because I’m seeing more of my weaker points than my stronger points I’ve learned to love. When I see and feel my better sides, I feel much stronger and able to think clearly. When I see and feel the parts I’d rather not, well, let’s just say I feel like I’m swimming against the current.
Let’s do this!
Let’s start with another overshare, shall we?
Overshare: Picture it: A sour break-up talk between two young adults that has calmed down to simmering resentment. Still talking and communicating, it may sound like they are making peace and agreeing, but what is being brought out is probably the most hurtful and no-turning-back comments. This was the talk where an ex of mine told me that his parents thought as I was Dreamy, Demanding and Immature. And, he admitted that he didn’t argue. Full-transparency, I loved his parents! So the fact that they thought this of me was more hurtful than him agreeing with them.
Dreamy, Demanding and Immature have been a part of me for over 20 years, like a mental tattoo.
I’ve lived with it, I’ve even shown it off! And, I made peace with it.
I am, indeed Dreamy. I have a very active imagination and I love basking in new ideas. It’s part of my source of myself, energy and drive. Sure, they meant it as something bad, but I have learned to see it as something great!
I am also Demanding. Boy, am I! I expect a lot of myself and those around me. I demand a lot because I know a lot is possible and we all deserve so much! People I work with deserve that I work my hardest. My family deserves that I do everything I can for them. Again, it can be something bad for some, but for me, it’s something good (when kept in check).
Immature. Well, I was barely 20. So yeah, I was somewhat immature and I still am. But what it is more than immaturity is that I have undying hope. I’m extremely hopeful.
Sidenote of the Overshare: Without these 3 words being brought to my attention, I don’t think I would have considered them to be faults of mine.
The 3 Worse Things About Me
Simply put, we all have things we don’t like about ourselves and these things can change day to day.
What are your Top-3 things today? (It’s totally cool if you don’t have anything today)
What I love about our faults is that they are real. We’ve probably tried to conceal them, change them and down right kill them. But they haunt us and stay true. It’s foolish to think that they are honest and loyal while our qualities might not be so bold, they are often depending on several elements.
So, let’s look at today.
ACTIVITY TIME!
Today I feel I am _______, ________ and ________.
Why do I feel that way?
Do I think anyone else feels that way about me as well?
Does it matter?
Of these points, I feel “Why do I feel that way” is an important corridor to investigate.
And here comes the Corridor of The Past! Ooooohhh…
Corridor of The Past
Karine’s definition of the Corridor of The Past: This is a mental hallway lined with doors, windows or booths that each contain parts of our past, particularly the parts that marked us. Each door, window or booth is alive with people who influenced us in one way or another, people who made a scratch on us and people we link with regret and victories.
This is the amusing part when we get to make a list of the crap people have said to us or about us, as well as crap we think they have thought or said. Ooooh, fun, right?
Then, we ask ourselves: WHY DOES IT MATTER?
If a teacher said that you were slow when you were six, does that matter to who you are today? Probably not. But it also probably left a mark.
And those are the marks I want for us to see clearly and make the difference between if they are our weaker points (which are true and loyal) or crap people say (because of themselves or an isolated situation).
Sidenote: We can also be guilty of thinking and saying crap about ourselves that has little to do with our actual weaker points.
True Faults or Crap?
Now, what do we acknowledge as our true and loyal faults?
These are what I consider to be our Soul’s body guards. They come out when something is coming at us, in desperate efforts to keep us safe – even though they might not be the most wise.
Crap, on the other hand, are the things that have little to do with our truth. They are comments and put-downs. They have no impact on protecting our Soul, but are meant to weaken it and make us question ourselves and how precious and unique, wonderful and vibrant we are.
Wrap-up
I may be right or I may be wrong, but I like the idea of honoring our true faults. Not to show them off and be jerks about it, but to give them thanks and to see when they come out and why. That takes knowing what our true faults are. Not to use them as an excuse like “I’m an ass so I get to act like an ass”.
While the crap others and ourselves might think and say, may have some value and reason, but the motive is essential. We need to understand why we might be unkind to ourselves particularly. And not like “She thinks I’m an ass, so I’ll be an ass to her”.
Let’s have some class!
Sidenote: We can have Class without Ass 😉 C’mon, I had to say it! It’s one of my favorite things to say!
Sidenote: No physical attribute is EVER a cause for insult. EVER. Where you are from is NEVER a cause for insult. Neither is who your family is or what you do as a job, or anything that connects to your truth. Full disclosure, teasing people for liking Rick Astley’s music is not insulting, it’s just trying to be funny, if it’s understood that we’re being casually funny.
Sidenote to the Sidenote: I truly admire what Rick Astley has done through his career and I wish him all the very best. I’m glad that the people of Québec still invite Mr. Astley to our province for concerts. He brings an innocent and pure presence with his music that is absent of any dark tones. So, thank you Mr. Astley.
I am Dreamy, Demanding and Immature.
I am also, ________, _________ and _______. And that’s cool.
Sidenote: I am not listing my actual faults the way I see them because that’s just for me, just as yours are just for you.
Enjoy,
Karine
Overshare: I also don’t like that I misspelled “Worst” to “Worse” for the longest time for this MiniBook… yeah… not super-proud of that…