I don’t like bubble tea.
There. I said it.
No matter how popular that stuff gets, the flavor of the “tea” or the kind of gooey chunks inside, I’m just not a fan. People think I’ll like it and keep trying to make me love it, but it’s not working.
I wouldn’t want bubble tea to feel bad about it though. I like juice as juice, tea as tea, coffee as coffee, water as water. Now, I understand that I can get all that in a bubble tea, but it’s just not for me.
I’ve recently had the reminder that I might be someone’s bubble tea; they try to make it work, as do I, but we’re simply not matched.
Today, I’d like to read a book, that reminds me that I’m not meant to be everyone’s cup of tea. In fact, it’s not possible and I shouldn’t strive for it.
Let’s do this!
Sidenote: As I was writing this MiniBook, it occurred to me in big flashing lights that there are genuine reasons for relationships to end; abusive relationships, violence,… or whatever they may be. No one should be made to feel bad in any way or scared. I am not a therapist, psychologist, behavioural specialist or anything of the sort. I’m just trying to make myself feel better 🙂
Another Sidenote: There are multiple sides to every story. There are reasons for everything people do. How people feel matters. People are wonderful and complex, beautiful and amazing.
And lastly: This is all part of the human experience, right? 😉
I’ll save us all a lot of time: We cannot be everyone’s cup of tea.
The End.
Still here? Cool! Well, I wasn’t done working through this anyways…
As an admitted people-pleaser, I would LOVE to be able to please everyone all the time! I would love to be sparkling in every situation <3 and to always make people feel great! Just imagine how great that would be!
In reality, I know that we can’t please everyone and “It’s okay that we’re not what they need.” That is an OLD pep-talk of mine when I reflect on why someone doesn’t like me to help me move on and make peace with not being that person’s cup of tea.
This brings me to today and in this situation when I say in my Soul “I give up”.
I am the bubble tea of this situation and bubble tea deserves to be appreciated and loved by its drinkers.
The goal: Letting go with love and not feel guilty, bad or sad or anything else that’s negative about myself. Rather, I’d like to feel free, smart and happy to be bubble tea!
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt like the mix isn’t quite right and it certainly isn’t the last time.
We all have old patterns, and somehow, these old patterns are the easiest to fall back into. AH! Acceptance! What a tricky friend you are!
Einstein is quoted to have said that stupidity is doing the same thing and expecting different results…
Yeah, but Einstein, it’s different now! We’re older and wiser!
Einstein would answer: Nope! Stupid 😛
Then I would try to defend myself and claim to have tried over and over, ready to try something new.
Einstein would probably chuckle and call me Bubble Tea.
We can’t change people.
We wouldn’t want them to change us!
We can’t be at the whim of other people’s emotions.
We don’t want anyone to suffer ours.
What we do want is simple: Joy, Happiness, Peace and Freedom
Well, at the base. I know we want a lot more than that.
We also want and deserve security and safety in all the aspects of our life including relationships. We want to trust.
TRUST
From the barista to our accountant, our dentist to the clerk at the store: We need to be able to trust them and they need to trust that we’ll pay them and show them respect.
Here’s the bump: what if all parties are exuding trust and doing all we can to create a good relationship; no matter how short and light or long and deep the relationship can be.
Some part of the process is faulty and we don’t quite know where it is and how to fix it. We don’t want to leave people we love. But… maybe it’s time…
What are we trying to be?
We can’t really be anything other than who and what we are, and if we change Ourself and be inauthentic, we won’t like Ourself very much, right? It just wouldn’t feel like us.
I often wonder what Einstein would say about inauthenticity…
Thinking of what Einstein would say brings me to reflect on who he would have been bending to expectations, fading out his personality, what discoveries would have been missed out on, what life he would have had and if we’d know of him today…
I want to do something different than trying to be bubble tea that’s trying to please everyone.
What if…
What if we let others be themselves, we celebrate being Ourself and whatever doesn’t match simply doesn’t match. We won’t force it or feel bad about it.
The Last Drop
Though I wish I could be just what people want, I don’t think it’s realistic. SO! LET’S CELEBRATE BEING OURSELF!!!! No one else can do it! It’s a one-person job!!! Let’s have an agreement, shall we? Whenever we feel like we don’t fit in, like someone doesn’t like us or someone moves on from us, can we do three things: 1) Sincerely ask Ourself if we did anything wrong and apologize accordingly, 2) Write it out, feel our feelings and move on, and 3) Remember we are living a human existence that’s full of life 🙂 worth celebrating.
Be your own tea, or anything you want!
Karine