It was an episode of Grace & Frankie that slapped me in the face with the concept of “The Check-In”.
Karine’s definition of The Check-In: A volunteer contact with loved ones of various levels on a regular basis with the goal to both verify how our loved one is doing and to share how we are doing. This can be through call, text or whatever.
Today, I would like to read a beautiful magazine article with lots of pictures, illustrations and colors with attractive fonts about the importance of regular Check-Ins with our loved ones.
Let’s do this!
I believe humans are social creatures. We have limits on how much social each of us want and need, but I think we all need some social environment. When working and studying from home became a reality, I heard every single opinion I think I could have about the good, the bad, the wonderful and the horrible about working from home on our own.
Overshare: My own reaction was mixed. It took me a while to realize that I really need both worlds to be at my best. I need my team just as much as I need to have solo-time.
Sidenote: I am not a psychologist, therapist, social worker or anything of the sort. I am simply a person reflecting on what it’s like to care for one another.
This all reminded me of how I remember people communicating through my life:
- We had a house phone, and people called it!
- We received mail for reasons other than bills and flyers.
- Loved ones came over to just chat!
We didn’t assume anything was wrong when we heard from someone. We didn’t go straight to “Oh Geez! If they’re calling that means there’s a problem! What now?!?!”.
We often got a “check-in”. Loved ones who just happen to think of us and want to see how we’re doing. Perhaps with cookies in hand 🙂
Are things good the way they are?
This is a personal reflection to have but I’ll just add:
What if you needed something?
Wouldn’t it be great if someone reached out to you?
Overshare: I don’t think I want to be alone. I prefer that I invest in checking in on my loved ones and that they check in on me once in a while. No motives besides simply checking in.
Map our contacts & Follow-up!
I made a quick list of the people I really don’t want to lose touch with and I gave myself a date that is good to reach out to them.
Following up is key here! Ask people about themselves and check in on something they’ve told you about.
Sidenote: I have a couple of friends who should give TED Talks about this!!! They are awesome at remembering details about people they have met once and make sure to follow up the next time they speak! These people are remarkable and they make people feel seen and heard! I have seen so many people genuinely smile when talking to these wizards of relationships!
Moving forward
Every person is different and relationship is different.
There is no one rule. But there is a lot to be said about old-fashioned people-time and having a strong network of support with people who check-in with us and we check-in with them.
Enjoy 🙂
Karine