From February 19, 1968 to August 31, 2001, Mr. Fred Rogers welcomed children into his world by visiting with them through 905 episodes of his show. His soft tone and quiet manner can only be compared to Bob Ross. Mr. Rogers did so much in his 74 years on this Earth.
Overshare: I’m a genuine fan of Mr. Rogers, the person.
Today, I feel I could really use a book entirely written by Mr. Rogers for the purpose of writing a self-development book. Not a book written by others. Not a book of quotes. An ACTUAL BOOK BY HIM AND HIM ALONE! I feel that his quiet wisdom could do a whole lot of good directed to adults, ready to hear every single word of his. I’d like this book to guide us in his thinking and train us in what he valued. I would like this to be a massive book! Even a 3-book set! I feel his brand of wisdom deserves that.
Overshare: I’ve read a bunch of books “by” Mr. Rogers and they always end up being a compilation of his quotes… Or, it’s books by friends and interviewers… neither are what I’m looking for.
Sidenote: Dear Mr. Rogers’ family, I sincerely hope that this MiniBook is alright with you and that you all know that Mr. Rogers shared something special with the world that we all sorely need. I truly respect the books of quotes that have been compiled for his fans and very respectfully wish there was more.
Let’s do this!
To his loved ones, I’m sure Fred was Fred. Just like any of us, complete with all his qualities, quirks and flaws. I’m sure he had challenging times and times of immense joy. Just like us, he was human, with a human body and all that comes with it.
Every day, we could turn on the TV and tune into his show and feel that we knew him and that he, somehow, knew us!
The dignity of being greeted, even as a viewer watching television from anywhere in the world. The magic of someone taking time to share, even if we don’t already know one another. The peacefulness of simplicity, without all the bells and whistles and flashiness.
These are 3 gifts Mister Fred Rogers gave people for over 900 episodes, an impressive body of letter writing, a handful of speeches and very select interviews.
Please allow me to say Thank You Mr. Rogers: Thank you, with all my heart, Mr. Rogers. You made a difference.
What this book would be about
First, we need to decide what Mr. Rogers’ self-development book would be about. I think there are 10 main themes he’d want to target:
- Time with our inner child (embracing curiosity, boredom and play)
- Caring for ourselves, caring for others
- Disconnect, turn it off and log out
- Be kind to yourself
- Where are you rushing off to?
- Forgiveness
- Routine, swimming and playing the piano as loud as possible
- What real time together looks and feels like (eye contact, no distractions, focus)
- We all need a pep-talk now and then
- What I think doesn’t matter
Bonus: We all need help now and then
Sidenote: Let’s imagine these are written by Mr. Rogers 🙂
Please note that I am trying to fill a need I have in reaching out to a person I deeply admire.
1) Time With Our Inner Child
As a child, many of the things that happened in my life and the people I met made a permanent impression on me. I fondly remember neighbors, hugs from loved ones and playing with friends. As an advocate for children’s time as children, I devote much of my time to seeing the world through the eyes of our young ones.
I’m surprised at times by what my imagination imagine’s my feelings and thoughts would be as child, compared to how I feel as an adult. Perhaps, without knowing, we’re all a little surprised about how we feel and think about things, especially current events and situations we are living in our own lives.
I learned to embrace curiosity in my adult years through watching children handle objects, ask strangers questions, ask parents “why” almost incessantly and in the way they stare at things they don’t fully understand, like going into space.
However, that curiosity happens a lot less in the absence of boredom. Distraction is perhaps the enemy of curiosity.
With boredom, we can initiate play.
When we’re too distracted by our busy-ness, we can’t possibly truly play.
Again, through watching children play, I’ve admired the effortlessness of their play. I believe we have all witnessed, even in ourselves as children, how magnificent play can be and the myriad of forms it can be. What I consider play may not be what you consider play.
I think we can all use some curiosity, boredom and play 🙂
2) Caring For Ourselves, Caring For Others
Every person we encounter is like meeting ourselves. This is something really precious because we are all able to care for ourselves and care for others. But, sometimes I see people who’ve forgotten how to care for themselves and how to care for others.
I find that an important part of caring is patience and listening. They are free and they don’t need much to work. Without patience and listening, we can’t take good care of ourselves because we’re rushing and not listening to our little voice inside. Without patience and listening to others, we can’t possibly relate to them and share in their world, or welcome them into ours.
There are a lot of simple ways of caring for ourselves, and your ways might be different from mine. But as long as we know how to care for ourselves every day, we’ll be able to care for others when the time is right.
I know I’m lucky for those who’ve taken care of me. Family, friends, nurses, teachers are all people who’ve taken good care of me. The people who prepare my food are people who take care of me. As are the people who drive the bus, fix the roads and so much more.
3) Disconnect, turn it off and log out
I’m lucky to know what it’s like to be bored on a Sunday afternoon because there literally was only golf on television and all my friends were visiting family. I vividly remember lying on the couch with my head hanging down the side sighing and growling of my boredom.
I’m lucky for that.
I found simple ways to entertain myself and, over time, realized that I didn’t always want something to do. I liked being bored once in a while.
4) Be kind to yourself
If we heard what others think to themselves and if others could hear what we think to ourselves, we might consider many to be fairly abusive.
I like to remind myself of my definition of kindness: Actions, non-actions, words and intentions that are directed to care for and bring caring to a person, an item, an environment, a project or anything that we can direct our attention to. Kindness is voluntary, simple, free, peaceful, without attachments or consequence. Kindness is a pure emotion that is brought into life by a fundamental passion to bring peaceful care into life.
I don’t always think about how kind I am to myself. I open doors for others and say Thank You. I ask others how they are and wait for the answer. However, how kind can I be if I don’t show the same consideration to myself?
I would never accept hearing someone being called names or being told that they are not good at something. But I’ve done it to myself.
I would never accept someone bulldozing a conversation without first asking how others are doing and feeling. But I’ve done it to myself.
I would never accept knowing that someone is neglected of love and attention, care and patience by their loved ones. But I’ve done that myself as well.
Kindness is important and we deserve to give ourselves the kindness we give others and we would want others to give us.
5) Where are you rushing off to?
Have you ever sat quietly while watching others rush left and right?
I have rushed myself for many years. I’ve rushed through meals, rushed to work, rushed through projects,… The list is ever-lasting.
I have rushed my children to and from school, to get into bed and to more parts of their youth than I can say.
One thing that all my rushings have had in common is that I did not like it – neither did my kids.
We hear about stopping to smell the roses, however roses may not be our thing. Some of us measure our quality of life through what we achieve, what others expect of us and our status through it all.
I’d like for each of us to take a moment to question how much we ask of ourselves and to look if we are rushing through our days and life. I can only assume that we don’t all do well at the same speed, as long as we are doing well at that speed.
6) Forgiveness
Forgiving others and forgiving ourselves is hard. Those others I speak of might be from our personal circle of loved ones, might be from some politicians or business people, it might be from a raccoon that seems to love your trash.
Our parents tell us to “forgive and forget” to try to help us through a painful period we are living.
Pain can be something that tarnishes our life, that is an extra boulder we carry through life and our relationships. Carrying that pain doesn’t give us much good. It doesn’t make us sleep better, love better or make our food taste better. We simply don’t need it, it just keeps hurting us.
But I struggle with forgiveness regularly when I hear about injustice.
Then, I think of what will improve the situation. The answer often comes to being productive and clear-minded after I’ve cleared the fog caused by that pain through forgiveness.
7) Routine, swimming and playing the piano as loud as possible
I’m not a robot. I am, officially a human who has a lot of feelings and a lot of thoughts. My heart and my mind learn, process and adapt to new things every day.
Hobbies, leisure and good ways to work through our emotions are pretty great parts of our days.
We don’t all have to love to swim or play the piano, but each of us have something we can do to get our physical energy out and focused. For some, it could be basketball, while for others it could be jiujitsu. Having a few options is a great way to give ourselves the time and the space to work ourselves through.
And that’s where routine comes in.
If we can depend on the regularity of getting our physical energy out, we probably work through things before they accumulate too much.
“The connections we make in the course of a life – maybe that’s what heaven is.”
-Fred Rogers
“You make each day a special day just by being you.”
-Fred Rogers
“The greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they’re loved and capable of loving.”
-Fred Rogers
“When we talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.”
-Fred Rogers
“There are three ways to ultimate success: the first way is to be kind, the second way is to be kind, the third way is to be kind.”
-Fred Rogers
“The more you grow into a helpful person yourself, the happier you’ll find this world of ours is.”
-Fred Rogers
“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”
-Fred Rogers
“Taking care is one way to show your love. Another way is letting people take good care of you when you need it.”
Karine is back: Thank you Mr Rogers!
Enjoy,
Karine